Sex Toy Review 3: The Waterproof Glass Vibrator

As promised, this is the toy that made everyone raise an eyebrow. Go take a look at the Waterproof Glass Vibrator over at Vibrators.com and then come back. Go on, I’ll wait.

In the first place, it’s glass, so there’s absolutely zero give, and then there are those pink beads on the shaft, which are definitely raised up enough to make an impression. On top of that, there’s an upturned bit on the end that’s designed to be a g-sport stimulator, and on top of that, it vibrates. All told, that’s a lot of toy!

Both Miss Rat and Helpful Boyfriend shared my concerns about this particular toy, but then when I was at a kink event the other week, someone I met there absolutely raved about it. She thought it was the best thing ever.* Looking over at the site, it’s got a lot of great reviews, too.

First, let’s talk about structure. This dildo is essentially a glass sleeve that fits snugly over a standard silver vibrating dildo with the use of two rubber bands. Out of curiousity, I popped the sleeve off, breaking the vacuum seal, and the dildo fit only loosely over the vibe until Helpful Boyfriend figured out that you needed to roll the rubber bands over in a certain way to get the vibe to stick in the sleeve again.

This is not a gentle warm-up toy. Let’s get that out upfront. I’ve found its girth challenging, and the bumps make it kind of harsh to me. I think to someone who was built wider than I am in the vagina would do better with this toy. You can really feel every single bump, especially when you are thrusting with it, and no amount of lube really makes that go away. The size of it made the g-spot stimulation part of actual painful when I tried to move it around at all, so I gave up on that pretty fast.

In terms of vibration power, I would say this toy is about a medium, but it is definitely worth noticing that thanks to the slight rattle of the vibe inside the glass, this toy can get loud!**

I think the vibe, for me at least, is definitely going to be more of a special occasions toy. It takes some warm-up, and the bumps are tough if you’re not in the mood for that kind of sensation. I found myself wishing this toy was skinnier, just so it could slide a little more easily, and this was after lots of lube.

I liked it best when I was using it with some kind of clitoral stimulation. Over all, my thought is that this toy is trying to do a lot of different things, and only succeeding moderately with any of them. This is definitely the right choice for people who want more and then more than that, and apparently tonight, that’s not me.

In other non-sex toy related new, I cannot stop writing. There is so much writing. There is so much writing due before December 1st that I’m actually a little freaked out. On one hand, money good. On the other hand, that weird fear of having my fingers fall off, less good.

Coming Soon:
My Fingers Do Not Fall Off
The Three Best Men’s Panties Sites I Use for Soft Core Porn
Reading Erotica, Writing It, and Then Seeing It In the Wild

*One of the nice things about this toy being as distinctive as it is is that you can recognize its description after about four words. Glass, vibrator, and pink bumps are basically all you need.
**If my neighbors are going to fight at all hours of the night, I get to do this.

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Sex Toy Review 2: The Stainless Steel Butt Plug

So here we are on another Monday with another sex toy to test! This one is the Stainless Steel Butt Plug, provided once again by the cool people over at Vibrators.com.

The first thing I realized upon pulling it out of the box was, wow, I’ve had jewelry that didn’t come in boxes so nice. You get a lovely metal and resin case with a molded foam lining for this toy, and since it was a nice afternoon at Miss Rat’s apartment when I opened it, the sun actually glinted off of it as I opened the lid. Seeing as I am not really someone who gets turned on by good packaging* it’s probably time to move to the toy itself.

First, it’s heavy. I think that’s the main virtue of this toy. Otherwise, it’s your very basic garden-variety anal plug with a rather narrow tapered head and a good pinch above the base to make sure that it locks tight to the body. This is a good thing, however, as it allows you to focus on the main point of the toy, which is the material that it is made from. The steel is impressively dense and completely unyielding. Word of advice to anyone with eyes bigger than their stomach, lube is your friend. It is totally worth using more lube than you think you need with this toy, even though the steel does mean that it’s a very smooth slide once you start inserting it.

Like all metal toys, it’s great for temperature play. Wrapping it up in a heating pad can actually make it shockingly hot, so just adjust for your own personal taste. So far, I’ve not played with cold, but it’s on the list of things to try. It also picks up vibrations very well if you have a powerful vibrator to touch to the base, and it transfers the vibes nicely to the rest of your body.

It’s worth mentioning that the base is a ball, rather than being flattened. It makes sitting down with this plug inserted quite interesting, but it is far from impossible. Between the weight and the ball-shaped base, you cannot forget that this toy is there.**

This is not a terribly challenging anal toy if you are already used to a smaller plug or to using fingers. The shape and the steel make insertion a breeze, and the neck of the toy is narrow enough that you do not have to worry about pushing it out accidentally. Once again, the weight is the thing, and it makes for a very different sensation if you are only used to light silicone.

All in all, I like this toy a lot. It’s exactly as advertised, it seems well-made, it’s comfortable to wear, and I think it’s a lot of fun.

In other news, I got my 10k word novella off to Ellora’s Cave, so Frog willing and the crick don’t rise, it will be for sale by the new year. Now I just have to write them another one. I’m actually under contract, and apparently, for me, being under contract means writing like there’s a sword hanging over my head All. Month.

Coming Soon:
Where Is the Sleepy Hollow Fanfic, Give It To Me!
Daylight Savings, or That Time I Got Up Willingly Before 10 AM
The Toy That Made Everyone Make the Same Face

*Okay, a little. I only get turned on by packaging a little.
**Sadistic/bratty tops take note.