A Review, and Romantic Movie Couples

Have another review of Lord of Misrule, from the talented Madeline Elayne. Read her fiction while you’re there! As a reminder, you can purchase this book over at Circlet Press.

I spent most of the weekend writing The Story That Came Out of Nowhere.* It was a pretty pleasant story fugue and though it’s not going to win any prizes on the new or daring territory, I think its a fairly competently written bit of smut. There’s a girl, a virgin auction, two guys, animal nicknames and some sex.

Today I thought I’d share some thoughts about romance, those being that I can’t do it. I’m notoriously bad at figuring out what people should look like and act like when they are in a romance plot, and though I try to blame that on having my formative years spent reading horror, one really imagines that I ought to know something by now.

For anyone who’s curious, in Lord of Misrule, Verity’s in love with Iskander, or at least he’s starting to get there and accept it. Of course, for Verity, being in love involves a lot of flailing, verbal abuse, and sex with other people.*** He’s about as bad at being in love as I am at writing it.

We haven’t done a list in a while, so have some of my favorite romantic couples from media.

Grosse Pointe Blanke
: Martin Blank and Debi Newberry
I watched this movie over and over again in high school. It had the Pogues, excellent fight choreography and a confused hitman trying to work out his life. Nothing will ever convince me that she stays with him after they drive off in the credits, but I saw why she got into the car. It likely had something to do with just having had her house shot up by assassins. One of the best lines in the movie, which went right over my head when I watched it as a kid, was Martin saying “It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten who get’s tied up.”

Enemy at the Gates: Tania Chernova and Vassili Zaitsev
This movie is historically problematic in a number of ways, but there’s lots of guns, and it depicts a World War II battle that was fairly breathtaking in its scope and importance. Visually, the city itself was the real star of the movie, but the main characters didn’t do so badly either. The silent sex scene in the crowded bunker was extremely engaging, and being the slash fangirl I am, I also had a lot to think about regarding the strained relationship between Zaitsev and the political officer, Danilov. Love in times of war is one of my favorite themes, apparently.

A Knight’s Tale: William Thatcher and Joceyln
Oh god, this movie. The best part about this movie was Geoffrey Chaucer. However, when I thought about it, there was one interesting thing about the relationship. Jocelyn, the noblewoman, is going to be married to the villain of the piece. Will manages to unseat the villain in the joust and that’s how the movie ends. However, as far as I can tell, that doesn’t change anything. She’s still going to marry the villain, and the hero walks off with a pretty empty victory. I like to think that there’s some sneaking around and getting together after she’s married.

If anyone has any suggestions for romantic movies to study, please feel free to comment. Looking over the ones that stuck in my head, I suddenly realized that there may be a good reason why I’m not so great at this genre.
Coming Soon:
Cape Bondage 3, or the Son of Cape Bondage
Lord of Misrule Outtakes
Getting My Laundry From Downstairs
*Still likely a better title than Revolutionary Prawns.**
** “It takes less than a minute for me to shed,” she said seductively, waving a walking leg at me. “Why don’t you come over here and see what comes out?”
***I figure in a few years, he’ll calm down and bring Iskander a book that he really likes. Scholarly romance at its best.