Sex Toy Review 1: The Leaf Vibrator

At some point after I got my try-out toys from, I turned to Miss Rat and said, “Oh, wait, I’m gonna have to write these reviews, aren’t I?”

“Yes… yes you are.”

I’ve talked extensively about sex and how I do it in person* but I don’t think I’ve ever written about it before, so I’m gonna take a deep breath and do my best to tread the fine line between “responsible product review” and “overshare.”

So getting started this Monday morning, the Leaf!

First, this is a fancy toy. It looks abstract enough that I could probably get it through airport security by pretending it was a specialty juicer of some sort,** and when I balanced it on my hand, it looked like some kind of green living ad. The green color is very citrus-y for those of you who are in to that, and it’s rechargeable, which is a lot of what I look for these days when it comes to vibes of any sort. There’s a very subtle button right above the plug in that lights up when you press it, and that’s how you turn it on. Handily enough, three quick clicks of the button locks and unlocks the toy, so that you cannot turn it on by accident.

The shape was what drew me to it originally, and when I saw it, I immediately thought “ergonomic.” This probably varies from person to person, but on me, the curve fits very well, running from clitoris to anus.*** Once it was fitted to my body, my particular anatomy does require me to hold in place with a little pressure, but overall, comfy.

I spent some time figuring out the controls. Basically, you press the button down until you reach a vibration level that you like, and for those of us who like strong sensation, it goes from gentle to tooth-chattering. It’s pretty quiet, so I don’t think I gave my neighbors a “what the hell is she doing now?!” moment.

First, what I liked about the Leaf Vibrator. It’s rechargeable, the shape fits me really well, and the vibration is intense. I was left oddly cold by it, though, and I think this is definitely meant for someone who loves vibrations spread over the entire area affected, not necessarily for someone who likes concentrated vibration in one place. That said, it can be held in place loosely with a pair of panties, or, if you are into rope bondage, it could get tied into place very easily. To me, it feels very much like a teasing toy, which is great if that’s what you want.

My only issue with the Leaf is that it’s a little difficult to vary level of vibration when it’s actually on you. I’ve been spoiled by my Lelo and my Hitachi, I think. One sustained click of the button turns the Leaf on and sets the volume of vibration, while another click turns it off. Another sustained click will keep it going and increases the vibration. It takes a bit of pressure to make the button depress, however, and that gave me a little pinch while it was on my clitoris. There’s no way to back the vibration off without turning the vibe off and starting over. This may lead to a lot of stopping and starting if you have stiffness or joint damage in your hands. However, if you like a lot of fine control over how much vibration you get, this might be a good toy for you.

Overall, I liked it. I don’t know if it will become one of my favorite toys, but it’s definitely a good supplementary device when I’m using other things as well.

Coming Soon:
I Swear I Am Writing Things
My Favorite Erotic Stories 2013
Longer and Harder: Why I Suck at Writing Novels

*To the 3rd shift waitress at the Perkins in Champaign, I truly hope you found my half-awake chatter about phone sex to be interesting, or at least that my tips cushioned my social awkwardness.
**I am not saying they would believe me, just that we all agree to continue as we were.
***My inner erotica writer says I could have phrased that better. Meh. It’s Monday.


What’d I Miss?

So after a long, long hiatus, we’re back on track, and I’ve got a fair chunk of news!

In the first place, November and December are going to be taken up with writing two novellas for Ellora’s Cave. They accepted my vampire romance, and now I get to write two more for a triple release. I’m pretty excited, because I get to write stories and have some assurance that I will be making money off of them.

The vampire romance features two characters I like quite a bit, and they’re kind of messed up in the way that I think living forever makes you. One of the stories is going to be a very D/s encounter with the vampire who brought Daniel over originally, and the other is going to be a fairy captive story, though some part of me really wants to get very dark and make it a Prince Heathen retelling.*

One thing I am quite excited over is the fact that I will soon be doing sex toy reviews for the site, Every single dealing I’ve ever had with the folks there has been pleasant and supportive, and when the opportunity came up, I was pretty thrilled. I’m going to be getting the first three toys soon, and if you’re familiar with this blog at all, you can generally expect that I am going to be pretty blunt about what I like and don’t like. Also, you can probably expect a fair amount of trial, error and accident because, well, it’s me, and there’s no reason to do a thing gracefully when you can flail at it like a seal on dry land.

Let’s see, erotica writing has taken a bit of a back seat to the new phase of my career, where I’m a for-real freelancer with clients and everything. I’m hoping to get back in the swing of things because I have like eight or nine stories that are more or less fully plotted in my head, and four or five more that are about halfway done on the computer.

I’ve also realized that I’m a full time writer with two kinda-functional laptops. Thank god for friends with spare laptops and who will bully me into getting a new machine sooner rather than later, though. As a matter of fact, I am off to do that now, so yes, there will be a functional spacebar key in my future, yeeeeeeesssss.

Coming Soon:
Insertions and Musings
Sex Diaries: I THINK This Was a Good Idea
Vampire Sexy Times
Wait, What Erotica Do I Actually Like?

*The fact that I hesitated because this particular ballad is too dark should probably tell you something.